What does my cryptic title mean exactly? It means that last night we were missing one actress. (Which makes the "men" thing inappropriate I realize), and I myself was continuing, as I am tonight, to fight this cold/fever thing I have had for a month or so.
It's not as bad as it may have sounded, though. I was in some noticeable discomfort Earlier in the evening, which flared up a bit as time went on. But during the constant motion of Act Two, I think I became too busy to be worried about some of my ailments. That, or the small amount of medicine I took had some effect.
Despite these setbacks though, I have to say that in places, I actually felt more in the zone mentally last night than I have in most of the previous rehearsals. Before anyone jumps to conclusions about it being an effect of any cold medicine, I will point out I took nothing so strong as that. Really, just a regimen of cough drops. Yet perhaps my being sick did contribute in a way to those at long last more internalized moments. In order to get passed the illness and fatigue, I had to really be mindful of everything that was happening onstage to a degree higher than it otherwise might have been. Of course I am always paying attention, but last night I had a physical need to just absorb the actions of the scenes, or else feel too run down by the work to get through it. As a result, the much awaited internalization of a few moments.
Oddly, one of those moments was the break up scene, though my opposite in that scene was not present. It just felt like at least I was owning some of the lines when previously I was just saying them. At least some of them.
I also felt more in tune with some of my Fred moments later in the play. That too as more difficult because of the missing actress, but nonetheless my condition forced me to slow down a bit and process what I was saying. I have blogged earlier this month about how for some reason that scene has sometimes gotten away from me. But not last night. It was aligned well, if I do say so myself.
I am hoping to take what I felt last night, and apply it to tonight, while not having to feel so lousy in so doing. And to apply it with the missing actress, who plays an important role in almost every scene in which I appear.
Not wanting to jynx anything, I will say that last night felt like a possible turning point inside my head. I still have some work to do, but I can suddenly see some of my goals on the horizon now, whereas before, I was still waiting.
I also has a few more little costume pieces, and was given permission to take off my coat in one scene if I wanted to. This gave me just enough of a feeling of being a different character in each scene that it too may have contributed to the internalization that was happening here and there for me. I will know more tonight when I run those costume mini-changes again.
The director told us that if we did well enough tonight (Monday) and tomorrow, we may get Wednesday off. The play as a whole truly is progressing nicely, and we shall see soon enough if it has earned us the night off on Wednesday.
But Monday and Tuesday first, and there is still much to do.