Monday, May 17, 2010

Matinee #1, and a Tough Decision

I am facing a bit of a dilemma, loyal blog readers. Actually, it is more of a timing issue than anything else. Nonetheless, I haven't faced this situation with this blog before.

I promised from the very beginning I would be candid about the things that I encountered throughout my theatrical experiences. Not vindictive nor bitter, if it could be prevented, but honest. That is still my commitment.

However, there has been a consistent issue throughout this production that hasn't been remedied. It is a major issue that I don't foresee going away before the end of the run. For the first time, the potential for personality politics is at odds with my commitment to talk about my experiences and opinions in a frank manner here on Always Off Book.

I have already ignored those conflicts to an extent, and my instinct is to do so now, and post what I think, and how I feel about things as I normally do. And believe me, if the only thing at stake were what people personally thought of me, I would proceed as normal. I can't change what people think of me, even if they are mistaken. If someone chooses to think less of me for expressing a minority opinion on something that I love, they will have to take a number.

But I have it on good authority that my expressing certain opinions on certain things at this time could have a deleterious effect on certain scenes, due to the nature of some of the off stage personalities of cast mates involved. I can't prove it, but I can't take the risk either. Therefore, given the trying nature of these unique circumstances, I have determined that my blogging  could affect the overall quality of the remaining performances. I am too committed to this craft to allow others to take out their personal disdain for me on the scenes in which my character appears. Ergo, I have very reluctantly decided to save some of my blogging until after the show has closed. I will try to give a very broad overall assessment of each of the remaining performances until then.

That being stated, I will say briefly that despite some major problems in Sunday's performance, I felt my personal performance was the best I have yet delivered in this run. As on Saturday, not all of the changes and flourishes I added would be visible on the outside. But I felt more at ease with some of the inward  motivations that I have been meaning to play with. Hopefully I will have even more of a chance to do so in the four remaining performances.

One comment must be made about the actions of one of my cast mates on Sunday. Her last minute decision to enter a scene in which she was not written to appear, in order to deliver lines for a missing performer was one of the finest, bravest saves I have experienced in my ten years as an actor. I commended her in person, and I commend her now.

Tomorrow is a line run through/dinner at a private residence. Not everyone will be attending, but I think the concept is a good idea.

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